Cell phone alarm goes off. You wake up, check your Twitter, MySpace, or Facebook, and then you head to the shower. Social media has managed to corner at least 25% of the average user’s time daily. We connect with others in our area code, zip code, and even trending dress codes. It makes you wonder, what are you doing with your bit of real estate on the World Wide Web? Is your social media profile the best representation of the person you are today, the person you want to be tomorrow? Moreover, if you ever to meet your online contacts offline would you be everything they expected you be.

For me, Social Media is an important part of my life. I set aside 3 time slots in my day just to maintain my visibility with my domestic, as well as, international contacts via the web. When you are building your brand, promoting a project, or attempting to reconnect with old friends or colleagues, your profile on popular social media should have a few key things to communicate to others the person you are today.

Side note: I always chuckle when some protest that they are a private person or they have a private profile, Obvious Family if you don’t own the domain, your information online is never completely private. Make the system work for r you, or simply remove yourself from the matrix:

My latest and greatest challenge has been offline encounters. It’s always a strange arrangement when interacting with various personalities in real-time that you’ve exchanged a note with, commented on a discussion thread, or co-sign on a status message.  When the interaction is impromptu, here’s a few tried and true ways to make sure your Social Media encounter isn’t a #FAIL.

1. Be confident! Don’t sidle over to them like a parking lot assailant. Make your approach purposeful and direct, so the introductions go smoothly.

2. Do more than just ask their name. Here’s an Example, “Excuse me, are you the program director for the last gallery event at the MET?” A professional advance to a new face that references something meaningful, is more flattering than yelling out their screen name.

3. Extend your business card, invite them to a cool event your hosting, or reverse the bullhorn and ask them about their organization, business, or current projects.

4. Continually say their name during your conversation, so that it sticks.  Politely exchange emails FIRST, and let them offer their number. Respect their personal space.

5. Last but not least, don’t be chatty. If the conversation is flowing, continue on. If there’s awkward silence, bid them adieu and carry on.

Overall, chance encounters with online friends shouldn’t be gauche.  If you represent yourself well on the web, be willing to further the connection offline.  You never know where an opportunity lies in simple conversation and friendly face time!

Have you ever thought to yourself… “Hmm, am I in love ? Or, am I in love with the idea of being in love ? “I certainly have ! Sometimes , I still do. How can I know for certain ? Will there be special theme music to cue the exact moment ? Will I feel butterflies in my stomach ? Will it be like anything I’ve seen in movies ? Hell no! Love can sometimes be the most hectic, emotionally draining, dramatic, and even the most wonderful game of tug o’ war you’ll ever play. Sure, I said it… game. We’ve all said it before. “I don’t play games.” Sure you don’t. When we develop a systematic approach to relationships, that’s exactly what we’re doing. Playing a game so ancient, we’ve managed to fool ourselves into viewing it as an art form.

Let’s face it. Love is all about knowing and understanding what works best for you. In order to know what works for you, it’s important that you actually know yourself. Not the person you and your parents molded yourself into over time, but the real you. Spend time really getting to know yourself. Know your own likes and dislikes. Be honest with yourself ! Know that in the 21st century there are certain core traits, morals, values, priorities, and yes…finances that must be in tact before moving forward in loving first yourself. Of course, I’ll admit. I probably wouldn’t love myself quite as much if I hadn’t accomplished many of the things I always aspired to….and seriously, who else REALLY wants to be with an uneducated, broke, codependent person who doesn’t believe in anything ? In some way, we’ve probably all been there and done that. Therefore, I’ve always had a personal belief of taking time to get to know one’s self. Making certain that the preliminary priorities you’ve placed in life are given a chance to blossom into solid efforts. This can give a person confidence as well as much needed life experience that will be needed prior to moving forward and loving someone else. Besides yourself.

After giving yourself the opportunity to fall in love with yourself , either for the first time or all over again – and gaining the confidence needed to move forward in an intelligent way. There are more questions to ask yourself and honestly answer. Is a relationship something I really desire ? Will mine be just like all the rest I’ve seen throughout life ? Will ensure true happiness ? Only you know the answer to those questions. Relationships and love isn’t the best idea for everyone. It’s true that some people just aren’t relationship “material” as it’s been said by many. If it isn’t your thing, be honest with yourself and the person who you may or may not be pursuing. Who knows ? They could just as easily feel the same way. If you’ve chosen to move forward in love, be honest about your desires and expectations for the relationship. Yes, there have been some pretty odd “arrangements” to surface throughout time, but I’ve also seen some of these arrangements last a lifetime. It’s all about knowing what works best for you and your partner in your situation. No one has a foolproof rule book on exactly how love and relationships should go. One size doesn’t fit all. Then there’s the happiness question. Yes, you can be happy. All it takes is honesty. Period. Being vocal about what makes you happy (in every aspect) as well as not so happy. Listening when your parter is vocal about these things is imperative as well.

For the most part, I don’t think I’ve said anything we all haven’t heard before. My personal thought however, especially during such crazy times in the world…is be true to yourself. Make sure you’re happy in the end. None of us live forever. Who would want to spend their life trapped in some unfulfilling relationship, feeling tortured all because you didn’t speak up about what you wanted. What you expect. Or what might happen if you didn’t get what you expect out of the situation. I’ll speak for myself and say….sure, I’ve ended a relationship because it didn’t turn out as I expected. Or even worse, everything seemed to change drastically over time. If the other party were up front and honest about certain things in the beginning… perhaps I would have been aware of the changes ahead. So what ? I like to know what I’m getting myself into. Always. Wouldn’t you ? Sure. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love will kick your ass too if you don’t pay close attention. So, love yourself. Be happy. Love hard. Live to love. Love life. Make it last. Because who knows when your last love affair could be…

by J. Keri Ward

Men Side: The importance of open, honest and candid communication both personally & professionally. The opportunities created by being forward and proactive.

For most men, being real about their innermost feelings is something that just isn’t that easy to do. Almost from birth, men are flooded with “lessons” about what it means to be a man. They are taught to “suck it up,” that “real men don’t cry,” and that the “tougher” you are, surely that must equate to the depth of your masculinity.

With notions such as these so deeply rooted within the spirit of a man, it is no wonder that so many men have such a tremendous amount of difficulty in being vulnerable, open, and honest in the expression of their deepest emotions. However, those men who dare to defy the societal impositions of masculinity forced upon them often live lives full of personal and professional success beyond measure. The primary reason for this success is because it is in our moments of genuineness that we are able to connect with one another as human beings, regardless of the differences that typically seek to divide us.

In a man’s professional life, when he is genuine with himself and those around him, he is able to tap into the true desires of his heart and identify those things which are most important to him. He can ascertain his passions, be candid (with himself and others) about his current circumstances, and seek out whom and what it he needs to navigate himself into the arenas that he desires to travel within. Not only is he able to communicate what it is that he needs and wants, but he is typically respected and well-liked for being a person of good character and genuineness. The key to his success lies not within his ability to manipulate people or his situations, but it is in his being liked by those who know him. As a result, not only do people want to do things for him, but they keep him in mind for opportunities and advancement that he himself may not even be aware of. Bottom line – when people like you, they want to see you succeed.

In his personal life, when a man is able to communicate the private thoughts of his mind to the woman that he has given his heart to, that woman cannot help but love him truly, deeply, and passionately. While most men are able to rattle off “poor communication” as among one of the primary reasons that most relationships don’t last, it is but a small number of men who are able to recognize how much they often contribute to such ill interaction between themselves and their mate. Although it may be true that women, by nature, are more verbal than men and often out speak them, it is equally true that women desire to have their men communicate honestly and openly about everything that affects them. While this can often be a challenge for men, learning how to break the glass ceiling of communication can help men who are frustrated, disappointed, unhappy, or just simply feeling like their lives could be richer than it currently is.

The easiest way to move yourself from a man who is closed, unable or unwilling to communicate is to begin simply by making the decision that you want to begin to communicate more openly, honestly and genuinely about your thoughts and feelings. By making this decision, you can then set out to take advantage of the opportunities to do so as they present themselves. In the beginning, it will be important to start “small.” That means that you may not start by telling people your greatest fears or biggest secrets, but it may be about taking a deep breath and pausing to think before you speak the next time someone asks, “So what do you think?” or “How do you feel about that?” And after that deep breath, and pause for reflection, you actually take the risk of communicating honestly and openly about your thoughts and feelings. Perhaps when you realize that the world doesn’t fall off of its axis, you’ll be able to do it again, and again, and again.

Until next time…

By Spirit  Love, Sex and Relationship Expert
www.talk2spirit.com

Somewhere in the United States, a woman is assaulted every nine seconds. It is estimated that (at least) one in three women will be beaten, coerced or abused at some point during her lifetime. Abuse doesn’t have to happen all the time. It can happen occasionally or even only once. Educating yourself about Domestic Violence (also known as Intimate Partner Violence, or IPV) will empower you with the tools you need to protect and empower yourself and those you care about.

First and foremost, be aware that Domestic Violence is an equal opportunity abuser. Young or old. Rich or poor. Anyone can be abused. Secondly, know that Domestic Violence comes in a various forms. Knowing what they are can help you spot someone in trouble. Common forms of abuse include:

Physical Abuse

Being pushed, shoved, slapped, pinned down, kicked, and/or having objects used as weapons against you are all forms of physical abuse.

Social Abuse

Forced isolation from friends and family or being unable to participate in certain activities are all examples of social abuse. A person may give in to this form of abuse in order to avoid an argument or because they fear that fighting it may lead to other forms of abuse.

Financial Abuse

This may include not being provided enough money, being forced to give your money to your partner, or only being allowed to make purchases approved by your partner.

Sexual Abuse

Being forced, pressured or threatened to engage in any form of sexual activity against your will.

Spiritual Abuse

Having your spiritual beliefs used to manipulate your thoughts, feelings and/or behaviors, being prevented from practicing your religious or spiritual beliefs, or being ridiculed for your religious or spiritual beliefs.

Psychological and/or Emotional Abuse

This form of abuse includes being put down, purposely neglected as a form of punishment, and emotional blackmail.

Perhaps the most common, and often times overlooked form of Domestic Violence is Verbal Abuse. This form of abuse can include your being called names, threatened (either directly or indirectly), criticized, blamed for the victimizer’s abusive behavior, or being the target of their violent or abusive anger.

What often makes verbal abuse such an insidious form of Domestic Violence is many abusers do not recognize that they have a problem. After the abuse, they are likely to act as if nothing happened, and may even seem to be in a better mood after the abuse has occurred. This often occurs for a variety of reasons. Perhaps they feel as if they have “won” and gotten you to back down, feel badly about yourself, or forced you to give in to what it is that they are wanting.

Even worse, verbal abusers often attempt to project a “perfect image” to the world, opting to exhibit most of their abusive behavior behind closed doors. This may make the victim feel isolated and alone, feeling that no one will believe them or making them second guess whether or not they may be overreacting about what is happening to them.

Making the decision to free yourself from an abusive relationship is just as difficult, if not more difficult, than healing from it. In many ways, the scars that are left by these relationships cut far deeper than the visible wounds that may be left behind, but going on to live a happy, healthy, loving life is possible. With the right amount of help, support, and time, it is even possible to love and trust yourself and a new partner in a new relationship.

If you believe that you, or someone you know may be in trouble, don’t ignore it. If there is someone that you’re concerned about, let them know that you care and that you are concerned (and if applicable, their children’s) well-being. Resources for assistance include: the National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-SAFE (7233) and the National Center for Victims of Crime (800) 394-2255.

Until next time…

By Spirit  Love, Sex and Relationship Expert
www.talk2spirit.com

ADVICE:

Spirit,

I got married at a young age – I’m 30 now, my husband is 34 and we’ve been married 7 years. My husband & I have three children. What I want to know, Spirit, is how do I spice up the marriage and put bad situations & arguments in the past? I want to have more sex and bring back what we had when we were younger, but I don’t know how I can stay married to a man who is a “know-it-all” and now all of a sudden wants to change how I am in almost every way. He’s been a truck driver now for almost a year and he tries to be so controlling because he’s jealous and he thinks he knows it all. Help Spirit!    Sincerely, “L.”

Answer:

“L:”

First and foremost, you’re not going to be able to have more sex until you get rid of the other issues in your marriage because they’re suffocating the intimacy between the two of you. Your love for each other can’t breathe.

Secondly, the bad situations & arguments ARE in the past, the key is to get the two of you to stop living in the past and to start living in the moment. Marriages aren’t about keeping score about who did what and how long ago, they’re about being a better YOU today than you were yesterday so that you, your partner, your children and your marriage can start reaping the benefits. The best way to do that is to stop keeping track of all that he did wrong and keep your eyes fixed on what you can do right. Now I know it’s easier said than done, but I’m going to give you some tips right now to get you moving in the right direction.

You have to be willing to take each issue piece by piece & not lump them all together. When relationships get off track, we have a tendency to lump everything that’s going wrong into one big pile and the real issues can never get sorted out that way. Instead you & your partner have 2 set aside some time to tackle the issues.

1. Step is to bring your concern to your partner. NOT the concerns but the concern that things are off track.
2. You both agree to set a relationship meeting. Both of you come to the meeting with an open heart, an open mind and lots of paper. I prefer the big wall POST-It Notes.
3. If one or both of you come from a spiritual background, pray out loud together that the Creator will bless your meeting.
4. Set the ground rules for how you are going to communicate so that if tension starts to mount and things get heated, you have a point to come back to in order to regain your peace with one another (ie…Speaker-Listener Technique).
5. Remember this is not a vent session. It is a time to be constructive, so stay on the same TEAM, focus on the PROBLEM & not the person (and no the person isn’t the problem, lol), so identify the problem, set a goal (together), and agree on the steps you’re going to take TOGETHER to get to that goal. In each meeting you may only be able to tackle a few problems at a time. I recommend no more than 3 (remember…it’s taken months/years to get in this situation, so you can’t fix all of it over night).

Sign a contract with one another to seal the deal.

End each meeting on a positive note that reinforces your love for the person & your commitment to making your relationship work.

By Spirit  Love, Sex and Relationship Expert
www.talk2spirit.com

Loving again is often the hardest thing to do after you’ve had your heart broken. Allowing yourself the opportunity, space and time to process, grieve and recover from a relationship once it’s ended, is not only beneficial, but a necessary step in moving forward. While the natural inclination may be to build a wall around your heat and vow to never let anyone hurt you again, there are valuable lessons can be learned from loves that don’t last. Here are a few tips that can help you mend a broken heart.

Tip 1 – Don’t romanticize the relationship.

When a relationship comes to an end, avoid the mistake of only remembering “the good times,” or the things that you miss about the person. Be honest with yourself about the good and the bad experiences that were a part of the relationship. Remember: THERE IS A REASON THAT THE TWO OF YOU ARE NO LONGER TOGETHER. Instead of simply trying to “move on,” work toward understanding some important things about the relationship, and yourself. What attracted you to a relationship with this person? Were there any “signs” that you missed or chose to ignore that let you know that the two of you were not compatible? Is there any emotional baggage ( i.e. jealousy, insecurity, low self-esteem) that you may have come into the relationship with that may have contributed to the relationship’s demise? The more objective you can be about the relationship (and your role within it), the better chance you have of being able to utilize the relationship as a stepping stone toward a happier, healthier one in the future.

Tip 2 – Take stock of what you’ve learned.

Although the relationship didn’t go the distance, it doesn’t mean that the lessons that you learn from the experience can’t. As you explore the various aspects of your relationship (as outlined in Tip 1), take the next step and apply what you’ve learned. If you allowed yourself to take a gamble on a less than ideal relationship, why did you make that choice? What changes would you have to make so that you don’t make the same choice in a future situation? If there are some previous wounds that you haven’t healed, what is stopping you from doing so and at what point will you make the decision to tend to those wounds? It is not time that heals all wounds. It is what you do with that time that heals those wounds. Take note of the things that you are doing (or not doing) that may be preventing you from moving on. If you find that you are having difficulty working this step, spend a little more time working on Tip 1.

Tip 3 – Be open to give & receive love again.

Don’t re-injure yourself or deepen the wound by closing yourself off to love. By the same token, don’t rush into a new relationship too quickly either. Doing so only increases the likelihood that you’ll make many of the same mistakes that you did in the previous relationship and find yourself even more deeply hurt and disappointed by yet another broken heart. Instead, go slowly and use what you’ve learned from your previous relationships to your advantage. Equally important, don’t hold your new love responsible for the pain and heartache that you may have previously experienced. Remind yourself as often as necessary that they are not your ex and that the only common denominator between your old love and your new one is Y-O-U. If you see any similarities between them, then go back to Tip 1 and start from the beginning ( i.e. what contributes to your choosing the same kind of mate over and over again?). If you have difficulty arriving at the answer, seek out a qualified professional that may be able to assist you.

Above all, understand that a relationship coming to an end doesn’t mean that either of you are bad people. It simply means that you need different things in order to be satisfied in a relationship. The end of a relationship is a sign that your needs are looking to be filled. Honor yourself by refusing to settle for a relationship that doesn’t have the ability to nourish you in the ways you need it to the most.

By Spirit  Love, Sex and Relationship Expert
www.talk2spirit.com

I suppose it’s inevitable… we all eventually meet someone that ignites our interest in a striking way. There are many people on both sides of the fence when it comes to meeting someone that can turn something on in us. And no, not just in the sexual sense, but the senses that we usually cope without or describe as “missing” when we’re doing what we do. As lonely as it can appear, it’s almost effortless to be single these days. So when it comes down to coupling, getting together, or making it official, how do we go about determining the label?

A relationship may refer to an interpersonal relationship. This classification is a relatively long-term association between two or more people where the association may be based on emotions such as love and liking, regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment. There is also an intimate relationship, which is a particularly close interpersonal relationship. These participants know or trust one another a great deal or are confidants of one another, or physical and emotional intimacy is at play. Last but not least, there are casual relationships (or causality) that describe the relation of cause and effect.

Would you suppose you fit into any of these vague? I find it interesting that even where there are words and definitions, entanglements are capable of being manifested into a creation all our own. If you think about it, is anything really finite? I believe you have to have firm knowledge of effective communication techniques in order to make a relationship progress. But what makes a relationship… well, a relationship? Who is in charge of putting that publicly explicit and/or cringe-worthy word into play for everyone to have and hold? Anyone could say it’s “all about the experience,” or “live your life, have fun,” or even the coup de grace of relating advice, “you should settle down.” I’m not sure about you, but I’ve re-evaluated my perceptions about what exactly a relationship.

Relationship:

1. The condition or fact of being related; connection or association.
2. Connection by blood or marriage; kinship.
3. A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other: has a close relationship with his siblings.
4. A romantic or sexual involvement.

Now if you ask me, I wouldn’t choose any of those descriptions. I’ve even changed my stance from believing that relationships are “work,” to knowing that a relationship itself, manifests and grows and is a by-product of two people creating a life together. Someone even pointed out to me how a relationship can restrict freedom… and that could be done in the most harmless way. Many people find themselves not so instinctual when it comes to allowing someone to be themselves and trust that they have their best interests at heart. You must be able to trust yourself. Even I have found myself dragging past experiences into my present. I remember telling myself to avoid this, but usually I adhere to my understanding of my truth, and the knowledge I gained from the situation. It’s sort of how it works, you know… “grow, love, fall, grow.”

The downfall of a relationship could come in various and intangible forms at any time. Many people try and control situations and change the characteristics of the very individual they choose to give an informal title to. I ask myself – who am I to try and make someone be how I want them to be, rather than let them be who they are? Shouldn’t that be the reason why I have a desire to, dare I say it… have emotional, or romantic, or sexual involvement with someone? When do we know that it has become so substantial that it becomes a ‘relationship?’ Is anyone really ever ready for anything? Expectations tend to be the damned juices we enjoy exchanging amongst each another. So ask yourself… what is a relationship? What are you relating to? Do you understand that every choice you make is creating the play & process of such a supposedly important thing? The best and worst part of a relationship is that it’s a catch 22. Two complete strangers becoming familiar with one another… conjoining two completely separate into a body of one. I’m amazed when I hear married couples have been together 20 some odd years (especially when there’s been no indiscretions). It’s very rare to find someone (period) who is compatible and honest enough to relish in the joy of being in a relationship these days…

When will we begin to take part in creating something different? Make your own definition of a relationship and utilize exchanges that lead to a joyful and empowering experience. The possibilities are infinite. I don’t necessarily know exactly what ‘my’ relationship is… all I know is that I’m breaking the mold and taking it one step at a time. Slow and steady wins the race, and I come with an open mind and heart. I believe when too many stipulations are put on the union, it becomes something that isn’t proactive to progress. Living is all about growth and we are blessed if we can share it with someone we have affinity for.

To connect to anything, we have intuition and body language, or energy for assistance with “how to proceed.” Why do we forget (or pay no mind to) where we’ve been when involved in a new situation or kinship. History tends to repeat itself until a lesson is learned and often times many people find themselves coming upon the same solution to their problem, only to create additional issues. Where did relationships become so difficult that there’s no longer a word to describe how difficult it actually is to just go with the flow and enjoy? Are we so desperate to be involved that we overlook the obvious ins and outs of what opportunities we engage in? If you ask me it almost seems like a loss.

I figure the interest is in having a precise and healthy relevance with someone, not subjected to said “rules” and “guidelines to a happier you?” It’s well known there are many more different levels of relationships and depending on which it is, women and men want different things (as do women & women, and men & men).While the word relationship tends to carry high stature, since it falls slightly below marriage, it’s the most practical thing that comes to mind after a roughly summed 6 months of dating. There are dates, and there is a continuous growth between two people. Typically people think they jump, skip, and fall in love, but it truly comes down to the affinity you have for yourself and the other person. We are reflections of one another at a certain time and place in life. The end result is attempting to have a more organic way of labeling whatever it is the two of you are doing.

“What is a relationship?” The best thing I could think of is to take a sheet of paper and do a ‘pros & cons’ list of sorts. An affirming way of writing the word ‘relationship’ and adding certain descriptions or sentiments that would grow into the principle for the definition of what two people are sharing. I wouldn’t say that I know what a relationship is… what I do know, is that I am capable of creating something with someone (like-minded) and have it persevere. Following gut instinct is the best advice I try to follow, but who’s to say yours is hungry or full but you? I live my life in light of a statement I discovered recently (and yes, this includes relating to relationships and the like)… “And love is the primary source material, the vibration of pulsating cosmic energy that fuels every aspect of the field of existence.” [Path of Empowerment, by Barbara Marciniak; Nov. 17, 2004].

YOU are the individual to define what a relationship is (with your significant other, of course). So be conscious of the present moment and understand the exchange of communication, emotions, and everything else that is created between two people. Whether it is merely physical and bounds on a sexual note, or something more casual, right down to something as ‘substantial’ as a relationship, these and various other levels are what two people in the relationship are responsible for interpreting – what it is and will be! The entire experience should denote a specific intent, from meet-cute to departing… a relationship is exactly what you make of it. You have the power of action, thought, and word. In the end, being thankful for and opportunity to explore your potential to love and be loved is the best way to look at any relationship.

Tionne 2009, All Rights Reserved

It’s time to get rid of those old useless habits of procrastination and form new ones that will benefit you in your personal life as well as your business endeavors. Are you the one your friends call two months in advance just so you’ll be on time for dinner on Sunday? Maybe you’re the one who always seems to be out of breath because rushing is a daily ritual. Chaotic behavior creates an unproductive environment which leads to a downward spiral of disappointments, missed opportunities, and a declining reputation. Let’s begin the new year with a few timely tips to help you stay ahead of the clock.

Perception

If running late is the norm, maybe the perception of events and tasks that are scheduled needs to be modified. There’s no quick fix to changing one’s perception or attitude. Are these events important? Am I happy about making this commitment ? If the answers to these two questions are yes, then you are headed in the right direction. Next, say no to obligations that are of less importance and tend to make you regret committing to anything. Often times the “Disease to Please” can be a great downfall.

Innovation

Usually, I tell people to commit to 21 consecutive days to change counterproductive behavior because it takes about that long to form a habit. However, procrastinators are a special group of people. Let’s just say I know from experience. To us, deadline means ‘get started’. Instead, create your very own pattern, but reward yourself for being on time. Nothing extravagant ! Just treat yourself to a little something for taking a step in the right direction. For example; sometimes I grab a cappuccino as a reward to myself for early arrivals and meeting timely obligations.

Dedication

Giving up is not an option. Don’t quit ! Remember “ The Little Engine that Could ” ? Keep striving toward the goal of having rush-free days. Procrastinating can lead to stress, escalated blood pressure, and sometimes depression. This is the serious side of what seems to be a trivial character flaw some willingly accept. Your health is not worth risking.

Getting the proper amount of rest is essential to leading an organized day. In addition, planning each day will reduce the amount of time spent trying to remember what’s going to be missed. You can use a daily planner, cell phone or computer. Begin by scheduling tasks that are most important. Sounds easy, right ? It really is. There’s no secret formula, pill or surgery to fix our problem. Only one’s perception, level of dedication, and ability to innovate will prevent the disease of procrastination.

Ladies…don’t hit the snooze button on this.

Sometime earlier this year, I heard a quote that I believe every woman needs to hear: “In order to live the life of your dreams, WAKE UP !” Seems simple enough; or does it ? The sad reality is many women can’t find the “control button” that will take their lives from extra ordinary to extraordinary. The reason ? They’ve unknowingly (or worse, purposely) fallen asleep at the steering wheel of their lives and are living on “autopilot.” As we progress into 2009, I hope that women will awaken and regain control over their lives.

For many women, the toughest task will be the first ; simply knowing and believing that you are worth it. Many of us have allowed ourselves to become so run down under the weight of life’s disappointments that we no longer want to take a chance on living the life of our dreams. We’re afraid of being let down, yet again. We don’t want to be hurt or disappointed by putting everything we have into someone or something else, only to be hurt as we have been so many times before. Because of this, we stop taking a chance on life, on love, and on ourselves.

If you want to re-establish the joy, happiness, and power in your life, then you must first reclaim yourself, for yourself. You must own the undeniable fact that you, as an individual, have purpose, value, and meaning. Once you do that, you will better be able to understand why you have been blessed with the gifts, talents, and challenges that have been afforded to you.

Women must also understand that the quality of the relationships in our lives is a reflection of the quality of the relationship that we’re in with ourselves. When you know your worth, you expect others to treat you accordingly. If you think highly of yourself, you refuse to let others treat you in ways that devalue you. However, if you have a lower self-esteem, you are likely to allow people to mistreat you. Accepting less than the best of what life has to offer isn’t an option. My advice ? WAKE UP.

As women, we also must begin to not only make better choices, but also, to hold ourselves accountable for those decisions. The fact is; our lives are shaped by the choices we make. If you live your life believing you are simply “taking life as it comes” or, trying your best to “play the hand that you’ve been dealt,” you’re not living a dream…you’re living a nightmare. Wake up. YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE ! Understand it ! Own it ! Seize it !

Finally, women should regain an earnest appreciation for alone time. Too many of today’s women are afraid to be alone. We buy into society’s unspoken stigma that if we are single, then we are somehow less special, or important, than someone who is in a committed relationship. We also allow ourselves to become obsessed with the thought of if we aren’t constantly searching, meeting and dating someone, that we are somehow going to miss out on the person we are destined for. Isn’t that an oxymoron? Of course it is. Yet, we allow this cycle to continue.

As we progress into a new year, we must recognize that each moment, is one we cannot get back. And more importantly, each moment is directly connected to the next. Therefore, what we do now not only defines our present, but our future. The sooner that we recognize this, the sooner we will be able to harness the power that exists within us all.

by Spirit. Love, Sex and Relationship Expert
www.talk2spirit.com

Businesses establish their brand as a part of their business plan. It’s the foundation on which everything else is built: products, services, location, marketing and advertising.

People are also brands. Have you put time and energy into developing your very own personal brand ? Branding makes people remember who you are and what your do.

We know that branding is essential, even in industries where everything seems to be exactly alike: insurance, beauty, education, law, fast food, fashion, etc. For example, State Farm’s branding makes customer relate to having a good neighbor. Allstate Insurance Company uses celebrity endorsements to assure customers they will be covered if the accident is their customers’ fault. Both companies offer similar products and services. However, their brands are not the same. Take a look at Coca-Cola and Pepsi, the largest selling grocery brands. Although Coca-Cola was first on the market, the Pepsi brand brought about competition which raised consumer awareness of both brands. Branding helps to attract the market you’re interested in targeting.

When I hear the word branding, I immediately think “Kleenex.” Can you remember the last time you asked “ Can you hand me a Kleenex ? ” Kleenex is a brand name, but it is so commonly used, we hardly ever call it by its name, facial tissue. There could have been a box of Puffs sitting right there, and “Kleenex” was the word that first came to mind.

How can your brand be the first thing that comes to mind when they’re shuffling through emails trying to find the best candidate for a job ? Branding! It’s a powerful tool; a key component to establishing unique differences among competitors. Just think of how powerful your brand could be in an interview, meeting or social setting. It can help you meet the right people at the right time. Let’s get started on your makeover.

Write down key words or phrases that best describe your personality.

Next, list five problems that you solve in your occupation. (Don’t just say what you do. Describe how you help people.)

Know your strengths and areas for improvement. Ask friends to tell you what you do best. Also ask about your weaknesses. Don’t get upset, just remember this is a “Brand New Makeover”.

Brush up on your communication skills. Network, network, network ! (Remember, you are a walking advertisement)

Look the part ! You don’t have t spend thousands to look polished. Consult a professional stylist if needed.

Be able to describe your personal brand. Remember a brand is not just a look. “ It is everything that makes a person or business unique, competitive, likeable, fresh, credible and prosperous.”

What good is a brand that nobody knows about ? Do your homework and follow the seven steps that will allow you to shine like the star you were meant to be !

by C. Jeanine Fulton for www.personamarket.com